Beyonce offers an invaluable piece of dating advice in one of her songs, and no it’s not “All the single ladies” (thank goodness for all the men out there, amen). It’s the one dating advice that i realize works wonders with anyone you’re with, but usually works best in a 1-on-1 situation with your partner, or potential partner. So, which song is it?
Beyonce – Listen
Yes, i believe this has to be one of her greatest and most meaningful song she’s ever written. What most of us don’t do enough on dates is to listen, it’s all about the talking and the avoiding of silences. Sure, the avoiding of silences is important, but the art of listening is even more important.
The Power Of The 20degree Rule
On my first day here in England, i was talking to this female friend of my friend, she was rather shy and there were some silences and me being the chatterbox that i am, decided to draw her out by well, talking, it took awhile at first, but when she finally started talking, i applied the 20degree rule and LISTENED to her, just leaned forward slightly and really listened to her.
Just sitting there and really listening to her felt like a whole different sensation, you pick up on all the small details you never noticed before, the hesitancy in the voice at certain parts of the conversation, the fear, the anger and all, knowing what to reply and completely understanding the situation that the other person is under, and in that short two hour birthday party that we were at, she revealed everything about her personal life from her family problems to her boyfriend problems, and at the end of it, she wondered out loud to me why she did all that despite knowing me for only 2 hours. Amazing what listening can do for you eh?
“We survived for two days on nothing but food and water”
I love the above quote, it tells on how important meaningful conversation is and it shouldn’t be neglected. So, i know most of you men and women would hate this advice, but it’s as true as it gets, start listening more in conversations, you’ll start noticing things you’ve never noticed before and it’ll definitely make you a much more attractive person if you can strike the proper balance with talking. -winks.
An Eye For An Eye, A Secret For A Secret
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and an secret for a secret. Remember that everytime you try to get someone to open up to you.
No, Not Drug Her
I probed her into revealing a little something about herself by revealing a little of myself in the same area first, so for example, i share a little about my girlfriend before asking her something about her boyfriend. This has to be done subtly, of course, and not an outright “my turn, your turn” kind of game.
Let’s Do Forex Secretex
Start trading secrets, informations and more to get the person you’re talking to to open up more to you, it engages the basic yet most powerful law of reciprocation.
Now, godspeed on your quest on getting to know people you talk to on a deeper level, you have my word that this would make conversations much more meaningful and exciting (even more so than beer talk). Becareful what secrets you share though! You don’t want to be revealing your bank PIN number thinking it’ll make them reveal more about their love life! -grins.
On a side note, it’s been freezing and gloomy here in Salt Lake City, i’m in Utah today and I sure do hope things are better (: Sorry for the irregular updates, kind of tough to constantly update when i’m on holiday visiting a friend and don’t get to use the internet as often, heh.